My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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