I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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