what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
