You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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