I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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