what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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