well most of my day revolves around power hour
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
