I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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