they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
