Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
