We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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