Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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