On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This is my gift to your gina
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
