seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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