i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
