I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
