just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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