Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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