Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
