Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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