Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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