dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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