if you like me you must not know who I am
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
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They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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