im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
