can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
