you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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