I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
