I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
