youre lurking in front of me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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