you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
