worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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