haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
