Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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