with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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