bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
