well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
