There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
