Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
