what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
