I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
