She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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