Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
