Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
