don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
