I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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