For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
