well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
