I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
