i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
