the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
