I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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