i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
