im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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