My brain says no but my pants say off.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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