U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
