I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
